MY JOURNEY IN FINDING FULFILLMENT
I was five years into my career in the financial services industry when I saw myself starting to unravel. I was making more money than I had ever made in my entire life, but the money wasn’t making me happy. I was also drinking more alcohol and using more drugs than ever before to numb the inner conflict I was experiencing.
I was first attracted to the bank that I ended up working for because of their stellar reputation and wholesome mid-western values. I felt part of a team of people that, for the most part, I got along with really well. I still have a few of those friendships after leaving the bank nine years ago.
I made the decision to leave the company after my division had been acquired. This was the beginning of a series of events that led me to my dream job of today, which is coaching executives in eliminating emotional labor so they can become fulfilled, purpose-driven leaders.
I was about four years into my business consulting practice when I realized that I still wasn’t happy. I couldn’t understand why I still had inner conflicts needing to be muted by drugs and alcohol in order for me to feel worthy and good enough. My personal life was in shambles, and I felt lonelier than ever before.
I had received training and accreditation in several coaching modalities, but still felt like an imposter most of the time. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. A family friend was getting a divorce and I was on her bucket list. I had liked Vanessa from the time I met her ten years prior. She had seen, firsthand, the litany of my bad decisions as a result of my lack of emotional intelligence and really didn’t want to date me. I made a decision that day to put a plug in the jug and get completely sober. I thought to myself that maybe this was the answer to my lifelong inquisition of why I was in perpetual misery. I had always assumed I was on the right track because of my studies in human behavior.
I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t curious as to why people did the things that they did. I thought that everyone had the same abusive upbringing that I had, and it was only natural to self-medicate in order to feel safe. There was a missing link and I was perpetually trying to find it.
Something had to change!
UNCOVERING TRUE IDENTITY
Initially, I got sober because I wanted to date Vanessa. I was able to stop using, and we dated for a year. Things came to an end, as they should have, because I wasn’t datable. I am so grateful for that whole experience, because it led me to the next steps in reducing the emotional labor I was stuck in.
I was finally gaining the clarity to re-evaluate my core values and belief systems. In the past, I had created rules that made it easy for me to not feel worthy, and difficult rules for me to not experience feeling good enough. I began seeing big changes; others saw these changes as well. I was tapping into my intelligent mind and not using my analytical and emotional minds as much. At that point, I really started uncovering my true identity. Some of the truths I didn’t like seeing, while others thrilled me to discover.
I am not saying that I have arrived, by any means. I think that growth is a life-long endeavor, when I can remain open to change. Today, my perceptions about myself and the world have dramatically shifted. I follow my internal compass and live in truth. Every day, I do my very best, and, for the most part, I feel worthy and good enough. I have a healthy self-esteem, and I am driven to help other leaders leave suffering behind.
WHO IS ERIC MILLER TODAY?
I am sober, grateful, giving, loving, understanding, and worthy. I am a boyfriend, cyclist, coach and, advisor. I choose to live with sobriety, integrity, love, and sincerity.
I WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU
In my journey to expanding my self-awareness, I had help. I believe in the power of having a personal coach so much, that I’ve had one for many years. I realize that there can be blind spots that only an outsider’s viewpoint can see. Let’s have a strategy session to see how I can help you. If the three questions below motivate you to take action, schedule your FREE session with me.
1. What do you want?
2. Why do you want it?
3. What are you willing to do to get it?