HOW TO GIVE WITHOUT GIVING AWAY EVERYTHING
Secrets Revealed on How to Have More Joy and Meaning in Life
Life is incomplete without the sense of contributing to others. When we go beyond our own needs and give to others we experience joy and have more meaningful lives. By focusing on something beyond “self” most problems and pain become less significant. We are comforted because we know that there is always a way to give. We experience more excitement and adventure because there are many different ways of making contributions. We feel more important because we are helping others to succeed. The spiritual bond that develops by helping others gives a sense of connection. We grow and develop by helping others.
Sounds great doesn’t it? Then why do so many people feel like a chump in giving? It’s often because they don’t like the feeling of being vulnerable or perceive themselves as being foolish.
Key decisions are usually made in times of emotional intensity and urgency. Circumstances push us out of the comfort zone created by previous decisions and throw us into new territory. The most extreme key decisions are made when we are most vulnerable, such as early childhood or in times of illness or war.
Sometimes urgency is created by becoming aware of the potential consequences of continuing to live life as you’ve been living it. Look back to crisis moments in your life, when you were vulnerable, and this is where you will find your key decisions.
The most important relationship in my life took a back seat to my needs for contributing to others. My loved ones often felt neglected and became resentful towards me as a result of spending so much of my energy outside of them. Often times I felt like a failure.
What was wrong with me?
The answer came to me when I realized that an early key decision in life. Growing up, I made key decisions early in my childhood to repress and block certain areas of my personality and to focus on helping others. Later in adulthood, what worked in order to survive as a child became obsolete and interfered with all of my relationships. The more I would try to meet my need for contribution the more intense I would get. This resulted in overwhelming people and they would retreat from me. I then perceived myself as being a chump in giving.
MAKE A GOAL TO GIVE WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A CHUMP IN DOING IT
Find a balance between taking care of yourself and those closet to you and the need to contribute to the higher good. Self-care is vitally important. When you connect with yourself first, you will be at your best to serve others.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Notice if you’re coming across as to intense. Are you feeling exhausted on a continuous basis when giving? The best of intentions to serve can be off-putting when coming across as to aggressive. Some people perceive the intensity as being less than authentic. Tune into how others are perceiving you. Consider new vehicles that will meet your need for contribution. Can you get a better outcome by doing things a little differently?
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