HOW TO NOT FEEL EMOTIONALLY DRAINED ALL THE TIME
Stop Sacrificing and Start Being Happy and Fulfilled
When I was growing up, I was taught that in order to be successful I had to work hard and sacrifice. I went to the extremes in achieving my goals in sports, in business and in my personal life. I was a leader that believed that those I led should sacrifice as much as I did. In past intimate relationships, I often became bitter and resentful, because my partner didn’t reciprocate in the way that I perceived that they should. Happiness and fulfillment seemed to be out of reach for me most of the time.
Over the course of my life, I’ve observed that when I became emotionally drained it was because I was sacrificing to achieve a goal or to meet someone else’s needs. In my work as an executive coach, I’ve seen similar situations with my clients.
Don’t misunderstand my intentions. Stretching to achieve a new goal often times require massive action taking in order to achieve an objective. The difference is that when we sacrifice our highest value’s, we can become emotionally drained and resentful for the effort.
REASONS WHY YOU MIGHT PERCEIVE CONTRIBUTION IN A NEGATIVE WAY
Have you been emotionally drained as a result of giving more than what you should have? Maybe you can relate to the questions and statement below. If these scenarios are relatable, maybe your perceptions on contribution has you feeling uneasy.
In the past, I met my need for contribution by sacrificing and making myself into a martyr. As a result, I experienced a lot of anxiety, resented others and I often felt emotionally drained.
REFRAMING PERCEPTIONS ON CONTRIBUTION
Most of us have had less than desirable experiences as a result of giving to others. So, why would you want to put yourself out there and contribute? As discussed in my article about the Six Human Needs of Psychology, when we can get the need met for contribution, we meet all the other needs at the same time. This often results in experiencing radical joy and fulfillment.
I want to help you shift perceptions about sacrifice to a mindset of contribution. You don’t have to lose yourself and your “why” as a result of making contributions. When we choose the proper vehicles to meet the need for contribution we gain endless motivation in the areas of our highest values (what’s most important.)
ANCHORING NEW PERCEPTIONS ON MEETING YOUR NEED FOR CONTRIBUTION
I have three questions below for you to ask yourself. Read them through, contemplate on them, and jot down your answers.
One of the ways that we learn and gain a deeper understanding is through repetition. Write out the questions and answers then revisit five of six times.
1. How do you relate to contribution in the past and now?
2. What is your definition of contribution now?
3. How can you make it easier to feel that you’re contributing without sacrificing your WHY?
One more thing:
I talk about this topic on my morning show. Watch the replay of episode 3 and gain more insights. P.S. please visit our Youtube channel and subscribe. You’ll get notified about new episodes and you can watch the replay of ones that have already aired.